Is Dad’s slipping memory due to dementia or stress?

Effectively, he did that, and the physician did an workplace check however mentioned that he’s tremendous, simply harassed. I’ve learn the place in-office exams aren’t all that good, so what do I do now? Dad’s wholesome however I hate to see future deterioration in his functioning if that may be prevented with early remedy. How do I get him to a different physician for a analysis? — GW.

Expensive GW: You’re being an attentive grownup baby and your suggestion that your dad see his physician was an excellent one. Now, I’d give the physician credit score for taking the request significantly and recognizing the truth that your dad is underneath loads of pressure. Until your dad’s reminiscence and decision-making appear to worsen considerably, there may be higher locations to your focus, not less than for now.

What he probably must do is to acknowledge that just about all dementia caregivers will ultimately require assist if solely to guard their very own well being. I hold repeating this idea, however many caregivers want to listen to it utilized particularly to them earlier than it hits house. So, put it to him plainly: If he doesn’t take higher care of himself now, he might not be round to be your mother’s advocate sooner or later.

Typically, it’s best to start out with in-home caregivers as a result of that doesn’t look like such a drastic change. If he employed somebody to assist half-days, he may not less than exit if he selected or simply get some sleep if that’s his greatest precedence.


The opposite selection, which may very well be thought of now or after he tries in-home look after some time, can be putting your mother in reminiscence care. I’m pondering that in your mother’s case, reminiscence care may be the only option from the beginning, however your dad must determine what he thinks would work finest. COVID isn’t an enormous challenge in care properties now in case your dad and mom are vaccinated, in order that concern is manageable.

In case your mother goes into reminiscence care, she’d have professional care and extra socialization. Additionally, your dad may as soon as once more grow to be her husband slightly than her overworked, overstressed caregiver. Meaning he may go to along with her, consolation her and have some enjoyable along with her whereas the employees does the continuing, hands-on work.

Sadly, these modifications are costly. You may assist by taking him to see an elder care legal professional to see how one can make some outdoors care possible contemplating their monetary state of affairs.

If after modifications are made and he has had time to relaxation and get well he nonetheless appears to wish extra cognitive evaluation, then you can think about asking him to see a reminiscence specialist.

Carol Bradley Bursack is a veteran caregiver and a longtime columnist. She can be a blogger, and the creator of “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Private Tales.” Bradley Bursack hosts an internet site supporting caregivers and elders at She could be reached by way of the contact kind on her web site.

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